Why We Must Forgive Others As Christ Has Done

I remember it like it was yesterday.

It was on the day of my ninth birthday. I was in school wearing casual clothes, a blue and white dress, as opposed to the usual uniform. I was made to stand up in Math class to answer a question. As was customary for me in any Math class, I could not come up with an answer – or the right one at least. My teacher then proceeded to ask me how I didn’t know the answer when the previous day’s homework was solely based on that problem.

Picking up on my blank expression, she inquired if I had even managed to complete my homework. In my culture, academic excellence isn’t taken lightly, and not taking one’s homework seriously was frowned upon.

It was almost always disciplined by either a rap on the knuckles, asking the student to remain standing outside the class for the rest of the hour, or (in rare cases) by asking the student to stand on his/her chair as a form of punishment. The general idea was to shame the child into taking their responsibility more seriously.

I was well aware of this. And wanting to avert punishment in any form, I did the most brilliant thing that came into my nine-year-old mind: I pretended not to hear the teacher. Twice.

Irritated at my behavior, she came to my desk and asked me to pull out my notebook. Seeing that I hadn’t done the work assigned, she gave me an earful on my irresponsibility and my poor mathematical abilities in general. In a fit of anger over my repetitive disregard over homework, she flung my notebook into the trash can and walked to the front of the class.

Not wanting to cry and further embarrass myself, my face distorted as I attempted to hold back tears that were threatening to fall. The girl who sat in front of me misread my expression and blurted out for the whole class to hear, “Ma’am, Evangeline is making a face at you.”

Needless to say, I was mortified. Before I had the chance to justify myself, my teacher declared, “There will certainly come a day you regret this when you amount to nothing.”

I carried those words with me for a very long time. I told myself that was the reason I consistently failed every Math exam up to college. I chose English Literature as my major by way of taking refuge from numbers.

In short, I let those words dictate many decisions I took and attributed to it many emotions of failure. As much as I tried, I could not bring myself to forgive that teacher. Up until a few years back, I replayed that scene in my mind a thousand times over and grew more and more bitter every time. 

I am certain that every one of us has had similar experiences that have caused us pain, shame, and even grief. Ironically, entertaining feelings of ill-will, bitterness, anger, or hatred is just a way to inflict punishment on ourselves.

Nowhere in the Bible do we come across forgiveness as an option or a suggestion. Forgiveness is a command. And like every other command, it’s given not to make our lives difficult, but to free us from unnecessary burdens. Forgiveness brings the peace of God and benefits us more than others.

In Matthew 18:23-35, we read the parable of a King who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. One servant, in particular, is forgiven a great monetary debt by his master (worth about 20 years of a day laborer’s wages). This man, upon release of his debt, goes to another servant who owes him much less (around the usual daily wage of a day laborer) and mercilessly has him thrown into prison. Although we feel incredulous reading that story, how are we any different if we do not forgive the offense of others?

If we believe God forgave us all of our sins, will we not forgive the little offenses that people cause us? Jesus ends that parable in a frightening manner: “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger, his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed” (Matthew 18:32-34).

For the Christian, unforgiveness is a very costly option. In the words of Jesus, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6: 14-15).

That is certainly not a risk worth taking. Often, we tend to hold on to our hurt and parade it around like a trophy to arouse sympathy and recognition from anyone who will listen to us. However, the longer we hold on to that wound, the longer it has time to fester and create more pain. Keeping track of offenses is fruitless and does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

Ephesians 4:32 exhorts us to “be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” Let us ask ourselves: What bitter feelings have found root in my heart? Am I as quick to forgive as God expects me to be? Indeed, the only place we see God running in the Bible is when He runs to the prodigal son, arms outstretched, ready to forgive him before a word is out of his mouth.

When we forgive others, we follow the example of Christ. Being quick to forgive others does not mean you’re ignoring sin. It doesn’t offer a license for repetition or validates offenses. However, it does mean you believe that you are releasing the person from any further payment for the hurt they caused you. It also means seeing people through the lens of forgiveness and grace that God has first conferred upon us.

What absolute forgiveness we enjoy from the Lord! He is quick to pardon a repentant heart and does not withhold grace from a contrite spirit. He is “merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him” (Daniel 9:9). As we experience this undeserved favor from the Lord, let us make haste to practice forgiveness. In the words of Charles Spurgeon, “You are nothing better than deceitful hypocrites if you harbor in your minds a single unforgiving thought.”

And: “There are some sins that may be in the heart, and yet you may be saved. But you cannot be saved unless you are forgiving. If we do not choose to forgive, we choose to be damned.” May God grant each one of the grace to exercise forgiveness as we pray the very words He has given us to pray: “Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.”