Surviving the Unknown Road of Life

In today’s world, we are so accustomed to having answers in a nanosecond. Google it, GPS it, or just ask SIRI! Moment by moment, we live in a state of “knowing it all” or having it at our fingertips. But what happens when we don’t know it all? What happens when the answers cannot be found by any means of technology?

I think that as individuals conditioned by “right here right now” training, we fall apart. We don’t know how to wait for a timing that is not of our own making – for God’s timing.

The toughest gut-wrenching times in life are simply unable to be decoded by technology of any kind. We can research until our brains border upon numb and still not know if we are heading in the right direction. I don’t know what area in your life may encapsulate this scenario. Maybe it involves the loss of a loved one or the search for the healing of a loved one. Maybe it’s the answers to the “whys” behind a tragic event that occurred in your life. Or maybe it’s the “whys” behind why something just won’t happen.

For our family, it is the search for healing. Our daughter has a multitude of diagnoses of various diseases and disorders. Together they create an epic mystery. One of her diagnoses is PANS.  Pediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Syndrome. I won’t go into details in this post about PANDAS/PITS/PANS. Another is Lyme Disease. Another is a mutated MTHFR gene. Throw in Marfans Syndrome and its effects, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and Reactive Attachment Disorder and you can easily see the mystery.

I’m definitely of the rigorous “right here right now” and “knowing it all” training academy. I love to research. Problems are for solving. I attack problems with vigor and can usually solve them…quite independently, I might add. I don’t feel comfortable asking for help. I don’t like acting needy.

I’m recovering though (slowly but surely).

I’ve been forced to put my old training to rest and pick up my new one I call “it’s okay to not know or be able to fix it.” This new training involves putting faith into action in the midst of the unknown. It involves humbling myself before the greatness of God and acknowledging that He is the only One who knows or may ever know. Let me be clear, though. This is a moment by moment training. Full-time. Workouts that bring me to my knees. Workouts that bring me tears …deep bury-my-head-under-the-pillow sobbing.

Then His grace appears. His Word that He engraved upon my heart comes to life.

Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you a voice will say, “This is the way you should go,” whether to the right or to the left. Isaiah 30:21

Faith is put into action and I feel the peace in my heart for that moment. It tells me that I may not know the answers now.

I may not know if …

one doctor or the other is correct.

the current medications will bring healing.

or if this therapy is the right one.

Honestly, I may not be able to fix anything.

But I know that right where we are is okay for this moment and in the next moment I will listen, I will hear His voice, and I will be at peace knowing that whichever decision we make is the way we should go. It kind of feels like being on an unmarked trail without the answers. However, when I turn to the One living inside me, I can feel strength in which way to turn and I am assured of the Heavenly GPS guiding me.

How about you? Are you in a situation that needs a GPS? Is it difficult to know if you are making the right decisions? Do you feel at a loss because you just can’t fix the problem? I promise there is hope! Breathe deep. Listen for His nudge. Then go with it in confidence that it is the next step He has for you. And if you allow me, I will be there praying for you!

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for being my GPS! Thank You for allowing my faith to strengthen in the most difficult of times. Lord, please help me to hear Your direction in the choices I must make. With every unknown path in our future, I ask You to be in the midst – guiding, protecting, smoothing the way. When my faith falters and my heart is breaking, whisper loudly in my heart of Your hope.

Your Word says in Isaiah 42:16 that “I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.” Thank You, Jesus, for leading my blind eyes and for never forsaking me. In Your precious and holy Name I pray… Amen.

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