Moving Beyond “What if?” and into Greater Faith

Do you fear the “what if” in life?

Things started out like any other day. I hit the snooze button multiple times, then finally drug myself out of bed. I visited with my husband who had already been awake for over an hour, taken the kids to cross country practice, made coffee, and who knows what else.

But somewhere between coffee and taking the kids to school was when it happened…

I was trying to fix my son’s shoe. His insole kept sliding around, so I was using superglue to hold it in place. I asked my 13-year-old son to hold the bottle while I slid the insole back into the shoe.

That sounded safe enough. But apparently I forgot to factor in the fact that it was a Monday. Or that my son, who I love dearly, is somehow related to both Ferdinand the bull and Clumsy Smurf. He is the sweetest, clumsiest, most awkward and loving 13-year-old boy you will ever meet. Anyhow…

My eye started burning. I knew instantly what had happened, I just didn’t know how.

There was superglue in my eye.

Trying to remain calm, I held it open as long as I could so it didn’t get glued shut. I should pause here and explain… I was born with a rare type of cancer. Retinoblastoma. It causes tumors to grow on the retina of your eye and I had lost my right eye when I was roughly a year old.

Which means I only have one eye. And it had superglue in it.

My eye burned and everything was fuzzy, but (in true mom fashion) I finished fixing the shoes, and then called my mother-in-law to see if she was free to take my kids to school. Once that was taken care of, I went to the bathroom to flush my eye with water. Long story short, other than being inconvenient and painful, everything turned out just fine; there was no permanent damage.

Have you ever got stuck on the “what ifs”?

The “What If’s”

What if that superglue would have caused me to lose my sight? What if I would have been blind for the rest of my life?

I’m not prepared for that.

I say that I trust in God, but do I really? Am I ready to give up blogging, writing, driving, cooking, and everything else “normal” in my life?

The honest answer is no. I’m not. I am not ready for that.

I know that God would get me through it if that were to become my reality, but when faced with the possibility, it scared me more than anything else ever has. It shook me clear to my core, and the what if’s left my head spinning.

Trust In God Or Let Satan Win?

For someone who has complete trust in God, I sure didn’t feel like my feet were on solid ground at that very moment. Satan had a foothold and I had a choice. Did I want to let Satan keep that foothold? Did I want to let him win this battle?

Of course that would be silly. Worrying about something that wasn’t even happening. Making myself sick over a situation that wasn’t real… who does that? I mean… you know, besides me?

I had to decide if I was going to let Satan win or if I was going to trust in God.

When I thought about it like that, it sounded so simple, of course I was going to trust in Jesus. I always trusted in Jesus. He is my life. I just got distracted… Satan is good at that, isn’t he? But when I stopped to think about it, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that if I were to really go blind that day, or any day, God would carry me through.

Yes, my life would change forever. Probably in ways I can’t even imagine. But God has never let me down and He would get me through. He would get my whole family through whatever came our way.

God is Always Good

No matter what life throws my way, I know that God is always good. And He is always on my side, because Jesus is mine and I am His. I can say that with complete confidence. I might have been shaken, but even when we get knocked down by life, Jesus is always right there ready to help us get back up again.

It kind of reminds me of when Peter walked on water. He took his eyes of Jesus and started to sink. He got scared, but as soon as he refocused on Jesus and cried out for help, Jesus steadied him. And He did the same for me. God is so good.

But, what about you? Has your faith ever been shaken, or have you ever taken your eyes off Jesus to dwell on the “what if”?