I bet you never thought you’d hear from me, but I had to write you. I need to thank you, for hurting me. Kinda sounds crazy doesn’t it? Why in the world would I thank you for hurting me? For rejecting me? For gossiping about me? For not seeing the real me?
Well, here’s the truth: I needed to see some things about pain I did not know.
It was only by getting hurt, did I realize my capacity to cause hurt.
It was only by the pain of your blow that brought me low enough to realize, I too, have crushed others. It was only by not being loved, being left out and cast out, I saw a slight glimmer of what it must have been like for Christ to be rejected by yes, even His own people.
It was only by not receiving grace from you, I started to see the enormity of Jesus’ extravagant grace in my own life and how many times I have begrudged others of that same grace.
It was by hearing mean words which cut me to my core, I saw my words, also, have belittled and torn others down. I. can’t. believe. I’m. going. to. say. this:
You hurting me was one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
The pain I’ve endured has shown me the wickedness in my own heart. My lust for vengeance, to be right, to be in control, to be unwilling to see someone else’s point of view, and that I needed to stop seeing only through the narrow scope of my own opinion or ideologies.
It was through you that I learned forgiveness. I learned my capacity to let a bitter root grow deep inside and I cannot thrive, love myself, or others fully, with poison in my heart. It was only by being wounded and feeling misunderstood, I learned the true meaning of compassion and empathy because it was something I have longed for desperately.
I needed you and life to teach me this lesson about pain most of all:
Pain is not the enemy, but my teacher, and through its unbearable weight I am pushed to grow.
And it was through others leaving me, and losing myself, I have recognized my greatest need and longing is to be rooted and established in Christ’s love. His love is the foundation I must build my identity upon, not the acceptance of man, or because someone leaves.
It was through you, I am learning holiness.
One cannot become holy, unless first, holes are put there by others and through the lens of God’s heart– we begin to see.
And the miraculous thing about it is, Christ mends those soul holes and makes something beautiful out of them that we could not have fathomed. So, THANK YOU.
Thank you for hurting me.
Jesus knew in hurting each other is how we would learn to love each other.
To God be the glory for any pain in our lives. Your redeemed, forgiven, healed Sister in Christ, who also, forgives you.
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I am a self-proclaimed mess and am one of Jesus’ ongoing patients. I struggle with depression, anxiety, ADD and swear my Lab Zoey has it as well. I love nothing more than to talk about Jesus and how He makes us well. I am a wife, mom, and bible study teacher. Visit my site or follow my social media!
Sarah Koontz says
Love your perspective and honesty. Thank you!
Holly says
Thank you, Sarah!
Laura Hicks says
It’s amazing how much we can learn from our pain. Great post.
Holly says
Amen, Laura. He is always teaching us, may we be willing to listen. Jesus does not waste any of our pain. Blessings to you my friend.
Tiffany Parry says
I have a few folks I could send this letter to Holly. So grateful that God can bring beauty from ashes and great purpose from our pain. Thank you for sharing.
Holly says
Thank you, Tiffany. So glad it blessed you.
April Knapp says
Yes, love this! Such a great reminder and a reason to move on.
Holly says
Thank you, April! 🙂
sue says
I love your self-description – I’m next to you in the hospital bed, one of God’s (favorite) patients! Great post – wondering which of your people are wondering “moi?” –
We learn more from pain than from success because we get back in the hospital and close to His breast.
MaryLynn says
I can relate to so much of this, and this reminder is an encouragement. Thanks for sharing your heart!
Kate Redmon says
This is a realization I’ve been coming to again and again lately, as well –> “Pain is not the enemy, but my teacher, and through its unbearable weight I am pushed to grow.” Thank you for putting it so elegantly and concisely.
Liza says
Thank you so much for this letter. I am struggling with forgiving a school principal who is ruining my chances at other schools. I have reached out to him & have apologized SEVERAL ways & this person does not respond.
Erika DeWitt | Founder says
So sorry to hear this Liza. What God has planned for you will certainly come to pass, no matter what others do!