12 Ways You Can Choose Happiness Consistently

Grand-dog Chloe and I are glamping (glamour camping) in an elegant Airstream in a land of sunny skies, craggy mountain ranges, and saguaro cacti. Tucson, Arizona.

Stenciled on the vintage trailer next to the Airstream is this thought:

Today I will be happier than a bird with a French fry.

Which begs the question: Can we choose to be happy?

Based on my experience, happiness certainly can be a choice. Here are 12 intuitive things my husband, Gary, and I did to choose happiness over the blues and anxiety that kept cropping up during the cancer years:

1. Get outdoors

The simple pleasure of being outdoors went a long way in creating joy for us. Perhaps being outdoors in God’s landscape changed our perspective from our two-minute problems to the Creator’s greatness.

2. Hike, swim, kayak, dance — in a word: move

One of the side effects of Gary’s particular cancer treatment was osteoporosis. And so, in our middle years, we took up pounding the pavement and the nearby trails. If you caught Gary and me hiking to the top of tall mountains, or slushing through powder in snow-shoes, or stroking our oars in sync in a canoe, you would have noticed our giddy ear-to-ear grins.

3. Show kindness

The twelve-hour travel day from Oregon to Tucson was going to be long and tiresome—flying north to get south, boots on the ground in four states. And so I intentionally looked for opportunity to show random acts of kindness to my fellow passengers, and glee overflowed on what would have otherwise been a tedious day.

4. Look for things to be grateful for

Inspired by Ann Voskamp’s book, One Thousand Gifts, I’m on my second journal of counting one thousand things I’m grateful for.

It’s easy to list gratitude when life is going swimmingly. But consider looking for things to be thankful for during the hard places. 1) One more day with my husband here beside me. 2) Snow falling. 3) Fireplace flickering. 4) The dinner that will be delivered later this evening by friends. 5) Extended family checking in on us.

Practice gratitude, and see if it doesn’t make a difference on the happiness meter.

5. Be aware of mindset

Setting our mind in an optimistic direction nurtures courage over fear. And hope over despair. It embraces peace as we intentionally boot out anxiety and worry. It chooses good humor instead of taking ourselves too seriously.

And all these things connect. Gratitude brings contentment that fuels a positive way of seeing things, that helps us battle anxiety, that ushers in joy and happiness.

6. Practice (selfless) self-care

There’s the debate that self-care is selfish. But self-care isn’t seeing to our needs and comfort first. It’s seeing to our responsibilities, and then taking time to care for ourselves physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually in order to have a full vessel from which to serve.

I’m happiest when I’m rested, when I’m eating healthfully and walking daily, when I take time each morning to sit still and listen for God’s voice.

7. Consider how to give back

Brainstorm about ways to be in service based on your life experiences, including the hard ones. I know an ALS widow who is passionate about raising awareness for this degenerative disease; a friend struggling with painful infertility issues who now mentors young women; a brain cancer survivor who stages cycling events to support local cancer services.

I love these beautifully redemption stories, and how God brings good from our pain and fills our hearts with joy through giving back.

8. Listen to favorite tunes

Music has the power to affect our frame of mind. Which is why calming music is played in elevators, and upbeat music is played in stores, and inspiring/fighting music is played at sporting events.

Put on soaring music and see if your spirit doesn’t soar.

9. Keep a journal for a brief period of time

There’s science to back up the mental and emotional benefits of capturing our concerns and fears and hopes and joys on paper. Even if you don’t enjoy writing, try keeping a journal for a set period of time. I’m pretty sure I saved Gary thousands of dollars in psychotherapy costs through the years simply by journaling regularly.

10. Try your hand at something creative

I can’t describe how happy it makes me to knit soft, fuzzy things for all the beautiful women in my life.

Water color painting, macramé, photography, cooking, pottery, designing landscapes, wood-working, puzzling, repurposing old junk into cool new stuff. It doesn’t matter what we do; it matters that we get out our creative side and make some happiness.

11. Buy books

Not too long ago, I posted a tongue-in-cheek blog about the best way to buy happiness. From the blog, this snippet of wisdom:

You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy books, and that’s kind of the same thing.

12. Hang out with incredible people

While in Tucson this week, I connected with a couple friends: Randy, who is in a wheelchair as multiple sclerosis continues its relentless march.

And astrophysics grad student, Charity, who lost her husband, Jayson, and son, Woody, when a sneaker wave swept them out to sea.

Charity and I had scrumptious tacos in a courtyard surrounded by old stucco buildings and cast-iron gates with trees trimmed in twinkling white lights.

We talked about a number of things, including what she needs to do to become an astronaut. She said the odds are against her — not simply because 12 in 18,000 applicants are chosen every four years when a new class begins, but also because she doesn’t have a background in the military, and particularly flying planes.

But she’s made a list of goals that would enhance her chances of being one of the chosen few: learning fluent Russian, getting her pilot’s license, deep-sea diving, and wilderness survival. And she’ll eventually meet with her advisor to get her input.

If anyone can accomplish these large and improbable goals, it’s Charity.

Randy and Charity inspire me with their grit and audacity in the face of incomprehensible loss.

Which leaves us with a couple questions to ponder:

1) How do we feel after hanging out with people who whine, who can’t see the positive in anything, who gossip viciously, or make fun of others?

2) How do we feel after being around people who awe and inspire and make us realize we’re not dreaming big enough (Charity does this for me); people who challenge us, hold us accountable, who speak hope into our lives, and believe in the beauty of our dreams?

Does the crowd we hang out with affect our happiness?

It does. 

And there you have it …

Twelve ways Gary and I practiced choosing happiness during the bleak cancer years. In that hard and holy season—when we shouldn’t have experienced peace or joy—peace and happiness and contentment surrounded us on most days. Here’s hoping that today you’ll choose to be happier than a bird with a French fry!