I’m afraid I’m going to be all alone. There, I said it.
It sounds stupid, doesn’t it?
When I was a child, I was told I’d be all alone someday. As a result, I have been carrying this truth with me the last 30+ years. I thought it was truth, but in reality it was a lie. This lie was implanted firmly in my mind, unknown and unseen to me. The lie liked to pop up when bad things were happening and cause anxiety.
My third son was born with 2 holes in his heart. POP!
My husband went to treatment for alcoholism. BAM!
The birth of my 5th child and many complications surrounding it. KABOOM!
I became needy. Dependent. Every little disturbance to my life became a repeated theme of somehow it would leave me all by myself. Thus, my default reaction was to worry, analyze and think the worst outcomes of everything.
My little mind would think somehow worrying would prevent situations from escalating. I could make sure nothing happened or strive and do something for others, so they became dependent on me and needed me around.
I had it all wrong. Isn’t that how Satan likes to work?
Slowly the lies drip into every crevice. Through watching us and learning our weaknesses therefore, he can punch us where it counts.
Every punch turns into defeat. Consequently, we live grasping hold of a lie, instead of believing God’s truth.
Isn’t that how worry works? We think it’s helping, but rather we become ragged and it starts to strangle us. Life isn’t fun any longer because we are either in the past where we can recall bad things happening, or we usher ourselves into the future and “what-ifs.” It’s exhausting because we can’t ever find contentment in the present. We worry our lives away and miss this day.
I don’t want to miss out on my life.
However, I just don’t know how to replace the worry. It fits me and I’m comfortable, for this reason, leaving it behind would mean stepping out of my comfort zone. I’m not good with growth and change, I’m a creature of habit.
How do I change the lies I’ve always believed and replace them with God’s truth?
- Realize God’s promise of never leaving me or forgetting about me
- Reassert my seriousness about change
- Readiness to change. God waiting on me to want to change
- Replace the wrong thoughts with rights thoughts by the help of the Holy Spirit.
- Reveal my struggles with others and be accountable for the times I reclaim my old patterns
- Reflect on God’s ability to change me
The underlying cornerstone to all of this replacing and exchanging is trusting in God. That’s where my key problems lies. I don’t trust Him to not let me down. People have let me down and I figure God will too. What if He doesn’t come through?
But the Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen you [setting you on a firm foundation] and will protect and guard you from the evil one. 2 Thessalonians 3:3 (AMP)
How’s your trust level in Him?
I’m laying a lot of my honest feelings on you. I’ve been chained to all of this, but I am asserting this 2017 and beyond will be a time of big changes. New habits and new revelations in my life, God is changing me.
Here’s the thing, what I have been trying isn’t working. I’ve never tried to go full-out to God. It’s so polar opposite of my self-imposed settings. Could this be the key to unlock the chains holding me? I’m so ready to try something that works!
2017 is the year I am all in. I’m putting on my chips on God. This stronghold is going to be broken with God’s help. I’m going to find freedom, and so will you.