I was on my way to church, gripping the steering wheel as if I was hanging on for dear life. The girls woke up cranky. The oldest refused to wear the outfit I picked out and the littlest pooped all the way up and out of her diaper which caused me to change her outfit not once, but twice. Great start to the day. That frazzled piece of hair that had slipped out of my ponytail just refused to stay out of my face no matter how hard I tried to blow it away.
The whole scene was definitely a “Jesus take the wheel” moment.
It was a rough morning and it wasn’t.even.noon.yet.
Actually it had been a rough week… month… year. The transition of one child to two was a bit more than I had bargained for. I vowed to let John have it when he got back from his business trip. I parked and stared straight ahead.
I just needed a minute.
Taking a deep breath I put the stray hair back in to place, climbed out of the car, and slapped a smile on my face just like the clown we saw at the park the day before. I held my head upright with one little on my hip and the other little hand in hand.
With my painted on smile I was holding back the tears. I dropped the girls off at the kids center and headed to the worship center to find the closest empty seat all the while wondering if anyone really even cared.
Did anyone see me?
Do they just have any clue? Does God see me?
Lord, do you see me?
I may have looked like I had it all together but I didn’t. There were days as a young mom that I didn’t know if I would make it. The pressures of mothering and trying to be the best I could be for my beautiful littles seemed like an enormous task that I wasn’t qualified to handle.
I wanted to matter. I wanted everything that I did at home to count for something.
Most important, I wanted to make a difference.
He Sees You
Five sparrows are sold for two pennies, aren’t they? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Why, even all the hairs on your head have been counted! Stop being afraid. You are worth more than a bunch of sparrows.” (Matthew 10:29-31)
Oh my sweet friend how He sees you…
He knows the length of every precious hair on your precious little head.
He knows your thoughts, your hurts, your cries.
He sees every tear. Not only does he see them, he bottles them up.
He sees every hurtful word that passes through your ears and makes its way into your heart.
He sees the trauma you went through as a child that still effects you today.
He sees your effort in trying to be the best mother that you can possibly be for the tiny little ones that He has gifted you with.
He sees you.
And you matter.
Do you get that? I know you hear it. But do you get it?
Jesus was going through the city of Jericho. In Jericho there was a man named Zacchaeus. He was a wealthy, very important tax collector. He wanted to see who Jesus was. There were many others who wanted to see Jesus too. Zacchaeus was too short to see above the people. So he ran to a place where he knew Jesus would come. Then he climbed a sycamore tree so he could see him. When Jesus came to where Zacchaeus was, he looked up and saw him in the tree. Jesus said, “Zacchaeus, hurry! Come down! I must stay at your house today.” (Luke 19)
Have you ever felt like you just wanted to see Jesus? You’ve served Him for as long as you can remember, yet at this very moment, you just want to see Him.
Because truth be told don’t know how else you’ll make it??
I think it’s pretty cool that Jesus saw Zacchaeus up in that tree. But do you know what else is cool? Zacchaeus wanted to see Him and he hadn’t even experienced salvation! Regardless, he did whatever it took to see Jesus, even if it meant climbing up a tree…because he sure wasn’t going to see Him any other way! His height wouldn’t allow it.
Jesus commanded he come down. “Zaccheus, come down here right now!” (Luke 19:5) When he came down, um- hello! -JESUS WENT TO HIS HOUSE!
I wonder what would have happened if Zacchaeus would’ve refused to come down?? Is he commanding the same thing of you? No matter what you’re going through or how small you feel, Jesus may be telling you to come down.
What is it that you need to come down from?
Only you can answer that. Perhaps it’s the weight of a past sin. It may be an offense that you are holding on to. Or maybe it’s something as simple as just a bad day.
Matthew 9:20-22 tells of a woman who had bled for twelve years.
TWELVE YEARS. I mean I can hardly bear bleeding for 5 days much less TWELVE YEARS. Good grief! Can you imagine how miserable it was for that sweet lady?
Anyway, she knew He was coming and although she was supposed to stay at home (because of her illness) she wanted to see Him. To touch Him. In fact, she felt that if she could just touch the bottom of his robe that it would be enough. And oh…it was enough alright.
He saw her.
He saw her and He healed her. On the spot.
Do you see the similarity between Zacchaeus and this woman?
Both of them made an active attempt to get to Jesus.
Although I believe that there are times when Jesus just so completely meets us right where we are (and WOW if that’s not grace than I don’t know what is), He also is delighted when we reach for Him and actively pursue Him.
Sweet friend: Do you want to encounter Jesus? Like the woman who was bleeding, are you willing to reach for Him? Like Zacchaeus what do you need to come down from? What are you willing to do to encounter Him?