I bet you never thought you’d hear from me, but I had to write you. I need to thank you, for hurting me. Kinda sounds crazy doesn’t it? Why in the world would I thank you for hurting me? For rejecting me? For gossiping about me? For not seeing the real me?
Well, here’s the truth: I needed to see some things about pain I did not know.
It was only by getting hurt, did I realize my capacity to cause hurt.
It was only by the pain of your blow that brought me low enough to realize, I too, have crushed others. It was only by not being loved, being left out and cast out, I saw a slight glimmer of what it must have been like for Christ to be rejected by yes, even His own people.
It was only by not receiving grace from you, I started to see the enormity of Jesus’ extravagant grace in my own life and how many times I have begrudged others of that same grace.
It was by hearing mean words which cut me to my core, I saw my words, also, have belittled and torn others down. I. can’t. believe. I’m. going. to. say. this:
You hurting me was one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
The pain I’ve endured has shown me the wickedness in my own heart. My lust for vengeance, to be right, to be in control, to be unwilling to see someone else’s point of view, and that I needed to stop seeing only through the narrow scope of my own opinion or ideologies.
It was through you that I learned forgiveness. I learned my capacity to let a bitter root grow deep inside and I cannot thrive, love myself, or others fully, with poison in my heart. It was only by being wounded and feeling misunderstood, I learned the true meaning of compassion and empathy because it was something I have longed for desperately.
I needed you and life to teach me this lesson about pain most of all:
Pain is not the enemy, but my teacher, and through its unbearable weight I am pushed to grow.
And it was through others leaving me, and losing myself, I have recognized my greatest need and longing is to be rooted and established in Christ’s love. His love is the foundation I must build my identity upon, not the acceptance of man, or because someone leaves.
It was through you, I am learning holiness.
One cannot become holy, unless first, holes are put there by others and through the lens of God’s heart– we begin to see.
And the miraculous thing about it is, Christ mends those soul holes and makes something beautiful out of them that we could not have fathomed. So, THANK YOU.
Thank you for hurting me.
Jesus knew in hurting each other is how we would learn to love each other.
To God be the glory for any pain in our lives. Your redeemed, forgiven, healed Sister in Christ, who also, forgives you.